Confusion?
Okay, I'm just trying to figure out what I identify as. I'm a nineteen year old biological female who is usually only attracted to gay men.
Honestly I look up to people that have transitioned, I'm just not sure that it's something I could ever do. I never really thought about being transgendered at all until lately, and I don't really think it's the same thing I'm going through.. because of things I've read. I've read that you just feel like a different person inside. Like you're trapped in a body that's not you, or something?
I mean, I've found myself wishing a lot over the past few years that I had been born a (feminine) gay man.. and I think if I had been I would be truly happy that way. But living my whole life as a female, I do identify with my female self.. I'm actually very feminine, and I like being feminine.. but I've just never been happy as myself? I think, I don't know. I'm just really confused as to how I'm ever going to find someone and be happy if I am only attracted to gay men.
I'm scared, confused, and I don't get myself at all. :/ I guess I'm not even sure what I'm asking anymore, either.
Honestly I look up to people that have transitioned, I'm just not sure that it's something I could ever do. I never really thought about being transgendered at all until lately, and I don't really think it's the same thing I'm going through.. because of things I've read. I've read that you just feel like a different person inside. Like you're trapped in a body that's not you, or something?
I mean, I've found myself wishing a lot over the past few years that I had been born a (feminine) gay man.. and I think if I had been I would be truly happy that way. But living my whole life as a female, I do identify with my female self.. I'm actually very feminine, and I like being feminine.. but I've just never been happy as myself? I think, I don't know. I'm just really confused as to how I'm ever going to find someone and be happy if I am only attracted to gay men.
I'm scared, confused, and I don't get myself at all. :/ I guess I'm not even sure what I'm asking anymore, either.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Maggie Fero on -
Maybe you´re not a female or a male? Finding labels is hard...I´m currently sticking with "Genderqueer", which is a wide label covering pretty much everything outside of female or male. Kinda like answering "other" to the question. I don´t know if this is helping at all...Good luck, though...
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Permalink Reply by Jamie on -
I agree with Maggie Fero. I identify as genderqueer as well. If you like labels, by all means use them.. but if you dont feel comfortable with them just be you and thats okay too.
And for the record I know a bunch of trans guys that transitioned from FtoM and now identify as gay men.
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Permalink Reply by Rhiannon on -
Hello!! I'm following up on some really great answers. I have to say that personally, I felt the same way you do about for awhile as a child. I also have to agree with what Maggie and Jamie said, sometimes labels don't fit. As I grew older I started realizing that gay men just had some qualities that I loved, but so did women, and a few "straight" men. Sometimes, when I stop trying to label myself and others, I've found the answers seem to come more freely. Good luck on your journey and I hope that in everything you find love :)
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